Depressed or Happy

It looks like everyones blog entry is going one way over another. Very sad and depressed or very happy and excited. This makes me decide which way I would like to go. Sad and long story/explanation of life or happy and excited description of how awesome life is. Can I have a third option please? Something along the lines of apathetic or prehaps ambiguous? Happy is not quite describing my mood right now, with all thats going on, but I wouldnt call myself maniacally depressed either. So now I think to myself, which entry do I need more, something sort of deep, or yet another spazzy blah entry. Looking back at my past entries, the ratio of deep to fluffy entries is one or two to a lot. So I will take the deep explanation of thoughts and feelings route and go from there.

Lots of talk about image lately. Its a funny thing your image. It can be all that you want, to everything you despise, or somewhere in the middle. It encompasses so many different things as well. Your repuatation, stereotypes, how people view you, how you view yourself all fall under your image.Another fun thing about your image is how dynamic a thing it is. You are so many different things to so many different people and those things are always changing. Your image isnt an isolated thing either. So many things can influence it, from where you are to who you’re with. For example, lets look at my image as a clarinet player. If I went to sixth grade band class and started playing with them, I would look at myself as a very good, clarinet player. I would also probably look like an amazing player to all the liddle kiddies. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if I went to a Boston Pops rehearsal, I would suddenly feel like a horrible clarinet player in comparison to them. When Im in band class on normal days, I feel like an extremely mediocre player who can get by but just. On Fridays I feel like a very good clarinet player being in charge of the 2nd clarinets, if not a slightly bored clarinet player from all the extremely easy music.

Image is also determined by your looks, wether you like it or not. Somewhere along the line, someone if not everyone, somebody is going to judge you by how you look. You know that saying, “Dont judge a book by its cover”? Well I dont agree. Say you are looking for a book on computer science. Do you go over to the set of dusty books in the corner that look like they are from the 1800’s or earlier or do you check out the brand new ultra sleek looking books on the other side. Well since we are following this advice we will go over to the dusty books in the corner because we are closer. You sit down and pick up the first book which says on its cover, “Ye Olde Towne Laws and Orders”. Well thats on its cover so we cant judge the book like that. So you page through and after a couple minutes you can conclusively say that this is not what you’re looking for. So did you really need to do that? Not really. Do you want to be taken seriously and treated older? Stop wearing pigtails and cabbage patch kids t-shirts. “Well thats not fair!” says my example friend, the emo pansy “I want to be accepted for who I am not because of what I wear. I should be able to wear my all black clothes and be accepted by the prom queen!” Two things, emo pansy, 1. Do you really want to be accepted by people who dont accept you now/think that Nevada is a country? and 2. Are you sure you dont automatically judge all people who wear cute little flouncy skirts and abercrombie tops to be another one of Them? Unless you plan on pulling a Martin Luther King Jr., you are going to have to deal with being judged by how you dress at least a little in your life.

Another thing I’d like to mention now is something I will call, “The Circle of Judgment” Lets try another scenario with this one. I will now introduce Diego the Sexy Blob and welcome the return of the emo pansy. They are both sitting in geometry class and Diego is lost in thoughts about the upcomming dance and who he should ask to go. Emo Pansy is wondering what the homework is so she turns around and asks Diego. Diego doesnt answer because he is still spaced out and Emo Pansy is kind of quiet. Emo doesnt know that and assumes that Diego is ignoring her because she is an ugly emo flower. The next day Diego is back from Nevereverland in his mind but doesnt know what last nights homework was so he cant get it out. He asks Emo Pansy what it was and she says “Wouldnt you like to know” Now since Diego didnt know that Emo had talked to him yesterday, he is utterly confused. Emo Pansy gets called up to the board and does a problem. When she sits back down Diego says Nice job! Since Emo is now completely sure that Diego doesnt like her, she takes this as a sarcastic remark and glares at him. Diego is hurt and now any chance of a friendship between them and even a possible date for the dance is gone because of their simple spacing out in math class. Moral of the story: Dont assume in geometry. (teehee)  The real point of the story was that if just once either of them thought about asking eachother why they had done something instead of assuming that it was a judgement then they would have been fine. Instead, one misconception gave way to another and another ultimately hurting themselves and eachother.

One last thing about image and misconceptions. You cant sit in the corner of the class and not talk to anybody and expect to magically get friends. You have to reach out a bit, and talk to people. There is some proverb about something like this with a mountain and a religous guy but I dont remember who it is, post a comment if you know what the proverb Im talking about is.

Poll: Which is the best entry coming from me:

  • Deep-ish thing like this
  • I happy, my week was like this, I cant wait for this- hyper thing
  • Rant about a random topic- not that i have done a good rant in awhile
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