I have now completely killed my eyesight with the awesome combination of computer addiction and accelerated studentness, involving long hours of staring at screens, reading, and very little sleep. So now I have to wear my glasses a lot more, otherwise I get headaches because everything is all fuzzy. But when I’m not actually trying to see anything Im perfectly fine! *cough* Someone asked me today if I normally wore contacts and I answered “No, normally I just walk into stuff.” but then I realized that could easily be taken as the general sarcastic me. Whatever. I walk into stuff just as much with glasses than without. Avoiding pillars is for losers.

Why am I no longer ‘good’ at math? All my life I always have just always understood stuff without fail, so long as I put in the required 20 seconds of skimming. I suppose it can only be expected that I have to try much more with the harder material, but the thing is the topics don’t seem proportionally any more difficult. I just feel like there is some sort of mental block between me and whatever it is that I’m supposed to be thinking about. At least its balanced out by physics. I feel like such a genius in that class, which is amazing since I haven’t properly had the whole ‘Yesss Im the smart kid’ feeling in any academic class since I left NAHS. One kid actually thought I was an aid instead of a student until last week because I always know what the answers are but I hardly ever pay attention. (and I’m always doing work for other classes or playing calculator games… shhh) One of of my favorite parts of that class is just the style of the work. Very rarely do we have to memorize formulas, its mostly about the applications and just problem solving in general. I like problem solving. I do not like memorizing. Yay this class.

Rewatching Princess Tutu right now- tres amusante. Its interesting to look at all the stuff in the beginning that I missed the first time.

Don’t you like how I’m actually updating now? (all of two days in a row!) (I’m also assuming someone is actually reading this… right…) It’s because band is over. *tear* Except I don’t really feel like it is. It feels like we’re just taking an extended break. I was talking with two fellow band geeks today about the busing situation to and from pretty much everything, and we only noticed that we should have been talking about it in past tense 10 minutes later. If I’m in this kind of denial now, I can’t imagine what next year is going to be like. I don’t want to be a senior. All my life I’ve wanted to just hurry up and get on with life and go to college, but now that thats starting to actually become reality all I want to do is slow time down. I actually like my life right now. I don’t want it to change. I don’t want to decide stuff. I don’t want to grow up!


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    terka said,

    i have a mental block (in chem), too! i realize that it’s really easy, just like always, but somehow, it just doesnt work for me. it’s irritating.

    i’m jealous that you’re taking physics. are you taking precalc?

    yes i’m glad you’re updating

    i dont want to grow up, either! too much responsibility and stuff :(

  2. 2

    nothilaryy said,

    Yay physics, yes precalc (but no yay)

    and yay for updating!

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